Mi Casa y Soo Casa
So, I know I'm taking a risk here, both emotionally and in terms of the FBI being able to track me down, but I'm really so proud of my house that I want to share it with you, my deer readers:
Isn't it darling? I took the photo from inside the bus as it picked me up on my way to work. I screamed for the driver to stop the bus and then took the picture with my brand new CAMERAPHGONE! It's sooooooo awesome. It's a Nokia, which I heard is made by the Finnish. I once captured a Finnish girl named Avka, but she wouldn't stop crying so I poked her unalive with a stick. But anyway. The bus driver was pretty freaked out but I got my photo so I don't care. I had to look up on the internet how to use this thing called Bluetooth to send my cameraphone photo through the air into my computer. I tried to explain the whole process to Catherine as I did it, but she claimed she wasn't interested and tried to convince me that it was her birthday. I asked her how old she was and she told me "Seven," and then said she missed her mommy. She's so funny sometimes. :)
Anyway, my house! What do you think??? (You can leave a COMMENT if you want. But please don't be meaen, or I'll track you down and you'll get the hose again! Just kidding. Or not!!!!!!!!!!!)
I'm not going to tell you how I bought the house or how long ago, but escrow and real estate stuff is sooooooooo hard and boring. I'm also not going to worry that you can tell it's raining in my HOMETOWN because it rains LOTS OF PLACE, Mr. Smartypants, and also, I NEVER SAID WHAT DAY I TOOK THE PHOTO. So put away your weather.com page, FBI. You can't find me!
Isn't it cute! Here are my favorite parts of the outside, not in order, because I don't want to play favorites:
1) My gate. I had a Bart Simpson Halloween decoration strung to it until someone wrote "Freak" on it recently and I had to take it down. I don't think Bart Simpson is a freak. He's just a little cartoon boy. But I like my gate because it keeps Precious from running away and also it designates "This is my space." I like those clear definitions in my life. I don't get them enough. The world is SOOOO complicated. "Are you my boyfriend?" "Is my job secure?" "Am I ever going to let Catherine out of the well." My gate is solid and doesn't ask hard questions. Does that make sense?
2) My plant! I named my plant "GumbBoy" after my boyfriend. But unlike the real GumbBoy, he doesn't scream when I tell him what I'm wearing.
3) My tulips! (I just went outside to get inspiration to write about them, and saw that they are dead. I'm saddened beyond words...)
4) My little white chair. I like to sit on the chair while I'm thinking, enjoying a nice glass of Merlot. I don't care what that fat ugly man said in "Sideways". I love Merlot!
5) My American flag. God Bless our Troops.
6) And finally, even though I said I wasn't going to rank them, this is my favoritest thing of the whole front of my house. MY MANNEQUIN! Can you see him? He's just to your left of the door. See! Now the coolest thing about my mannequin is that he just appeared one day? I know. It sounds crazy. (And I know crazy! :p) But one day I came from the shoe store to find him laying in my front yard all battered and bruised and unwanted. I gave him to Catherine as a friend, but Catherine kept calling him "Daddy" and it was really starting to freak me out, so I decided to use him as a welcoming vision for any friends who might come over, and also as a model to display my designs! RIGHT NOw (oops, I hit the Caps Lock by mistkae) Mannequin is wearing a 40's style swim cap with a blue demin eveningwear bikini with matching sarong to cover those problem areas. Do you like it? You can use the comments to let me know. I'm becoming a totall whore for feedback.
Anyway, that's my house! I hope you like it. And I hope you get inspiration to make wherever you life look nice and reflect who you are. (I wish Catherine would take some pride in her well.)
Okay, time to buy some new tulips! (See, I'm feeling less sad already.)
Create a cool day!
Isn't it darling? I took the photo from inside the bus as it picked me up on my way to work. I screamed for the driver to stop the bus and then took the picture with my brand new CAMERAPHGONE! It's sooooooo awesome. It's a Nokia, which I heard is made by the Finnish. I once captured a Finnish girl named Avka, but she wouldn't stop crying so I poked her unalive with a stick. But anyway. The bus driver was pretty freaked out but I got my photo so I don't care. I had to look up on the internet how to use this thing called Bluetooth to send my cameraphone photo through the air into my computer. I tried to explain the whole process to Catherine as I did it, but she claimed she wasn't interested and tried to convince me that it was her birthday. I asked her how old she was and she told me "Seven," and then said she missed her mommy. She's so funny sometimes. :)
Anyway, my house! What do you think??? (You can leave a COMMENT if you want. But please don't be meaen, or I'll track you down and you'll get the hose again! Just kidding. Or not!!!!!!!!!!!)
I'm not going to tell you how I bought the house or how long ago, but escrow and real estate stuff is sooooooooo hard and boring. I'm also not going to worry that you can tell it's raining in my HOMETOWN because it rains LOTS OF PLACE, Mr. Smartypants, and also, I NEVER SAID WHAT DAY I TOOK THE PHOTO. So put away your weather.com page, FBI. You can't find me!
Isn't it cute! Here are my favorite parts of the outside, not in order, because I don't want to play favorites:
1) My gate. I had a Bart Simpson Halloween decoration strung to it until someone wrote "Freak" on it recently and I had to take it down. I don't think Bart Simpson is a freak. He's just a little cartoon boy. But I like my gate because it keeps Precious from running away and also it designates "This is my space." I like those clear definitions in my life. I don't get them enough. The world is SOOOO complicated. "Are you my boyfriend?" "Is my job secure?" "Am I ever going to let Catherine out of the well." My gate is solid and doesn't ask hard questions. Does that make sense?
2) My plant! I named my plant "GumbBoy" after my boyfriend. But unlike the real GumbBoy, he doesn't scream when I tell him what I'm wearing.
3) My tulips! (I just went outside to get inspiration to write about them, and saw that they are dead. I'm saddened beyond words...)
4) My little white chair. I like to sit on the chair while I'm thinking, enjoying a nice glass of Merlot. I don't care what that fat ugly man said in "Sideways". I love Merlot!
5) My American flag. God Bless our Troops.
6) And finally, even though I said I wasn't going to rank them, this is my favoritest thing of the whole front of my house. MY MANNEQUIN! Can you see him? He's just to your left of the door. See! Now the coolest thing about my mannequin is that he just appeared one day? I know. It sounds crazy. (And I know crazy! :p) But one day I came from the shoe store to find him laying in my front yard all battered and bruised and unwanted. I gave him to Catherine as a friend, but Catherine kept calling him "Daddy" and it was really starting to freak me out, so I decided to use him as a welcoming vision for any friends who might come over, and also as a model to display my designs! RIGHT NOw (oops, I hit the Caps Lock by mistkae) Mannequin is wearing a 40's style swim cap with a blue demin eveningwear bikini with matching sarong to cover those problem areas. Do you like it? You can use the comments to let me know. I'm becoming a totall whore for feedback.
Anyway, that's my house! I hope you like it. And I hope you get inspiration to make wherever you life look nice and reflect who you are. (I wish Catherine would take some pride in her well.)
Okay, time to buy some new tulips! (See, I'm feeling less sad already.)
Create a cool day!
12 Comments:
OMG that is teh prettiest house!!!!!!1 i luv ur plants!!
It looks lovely, Jame. I'd love to come by for a cup of tea or something. Good luck on that hair-poncho.
I think you have the best blog in the world!!!!!
And I really like your house.
Call me if you get bored of Catherine - I love a man that sews.
I'm sad that my house isn't that nice, teenage hoodlums keep stealing my mannequin.
I just read your Real World recap. You know a lot about Philly (I live right outside of town).
You have a nice house... reminds me of a few I've seen in Philly.
It's been raining where I live too! (that being outside of Philly).
God bless our troops indeed. Nice to see your patriotic side.
wow, i wish i had a house like that.
You have the ugliest house, Jame. Also, Avka is so not a Finnish name, I should know, I am one. The least you could do is get the names of your victims right before you kill them.
P.S. Human-leather-overalls are so out this season.
Didn't you used to refer to females as 'it's?
Damn Jame! It's sooo shabby chic. You didn't do all of that yourself, did you??
I swear if the whole serial killer thing doesn't pan out, you have a future in Decorating!!
i named my mannequin BOB
Avka is not a Finnish name.
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