are you on my list...


Iím running sort of late today. I have a huge shipment of rare moths coming from Bolivia and I have to clean the big tank out. Plus, Catherine is being a total bitch today and Iím thinking of cutting off one her lips. I donít know. I have to pray on it.

Anyway, lately Iíve been thinking about which journalers Iíd most like to meet. But then, I figured everyone has written about that, so even though Iím not really a cannibal, Iím doing this twist on the thing:

TOP FIVE JOURNALERS IíD LIKE TO EAT (heh! Get it!)

5. Diane

I know Diane doesnít write very much and she is a mom and her kid probably needs her. But she wrote something about ďWhy Web Journals SuckĒ or something like that I just donít think thatís very nice. Itís intimidating enough to take the risk and put yourself out there like this, and I think people should be encouraged, not scared. Heck, I almost didnít start TLATB because of her and thatís just not right. I mean, hell, Iím new to this whole ďgameĒ and I know I should bow down the old school journal people, but I just call them like I see them. I mean, donít hate me or anything. Maybe she could just change the title to something more constructive to us Newbies. Instead of ďSuckĒ she should say ďDisappoint meĒ or ďCould be improved with a little work.Ē Why not be constructive, I always say.

4. Allison

I like the way ďHate Your DaddyĒ rolls off the tongue. Plus, I donít think sheíd complain so much if she was down in my well and I threw rocks at her or lowered a big spider down in the basket just to mess with her when I was bored or whatever. I mean, she seems like a pretty mellow lady. Plus, I hear her skin is soft and thatís good for my clothes and all.

3. Dave Van

I just think heís totally misunderstood, you know.

2. Emily

Emily is not a size 16 or anything, but I think sheíd give my well an air of life and joy itís certainly been missing in these ďdark daysĒ of olí gloomy-Gus, Catherine Martin. Emily would probably cry and scream a little, but then Iím sure weíd get to talking and sheíd tell me about her boy problems and I could talk about my day and share stories of things I saw on TV that day or even my hopes and my dreams and stuff. I guess what Iím saying is Iíd like someone to talk to now and then, you know? And I think Emily would be good for that. Plus, Iíd like to chomp on her leg and eat it clean like a chicken bone. Iím not sure where that impulse comes from, but what the hey! Itís just a silly fantasy. Itíll never happen.

1. Sars

That girl just talks way too much. Plus, I asked a question to The Vine and she totally corrected my grammar and then never sent me my t-shirt. And I know I gave her the right address and everything because the other day I ordered some Mac and Cheese and a six pack of Diet Pepsi from Webvan.com and they totally brought it here within the hour, which is a pretty cool service, if I do say so myself (And I just did. Ha!). Anyway, I didnít like her advice, either. I was having trouble with this guy I met at the club the other night and she suggested that I stop calling him and I didnít like that because if I stopped calling him he would probably just never call me and then Iíd be lonely and no one wants to be lonely, do they? Well, loners, but I donít trust them. Sure. I seem like a loner but Iíd really love to find that special person to share my life with. (Plus, I could use the help with cleaning and other chores around here -- Iím kidding!) Anyway, I just think Sars is kind of rude. Plus, she makes fun of Dawsonís Creek on her other website thing and thatís one of my favorite shows. Iím not even going to repeat the stuff she says about Pacey, who is totally hot, obviously. Iím mean, címon! Anyway, so yeah, Sars. Iíd eat that bitch with ketchup and a little vinegar.
 

Oh well, thatís it. Hey, let me know what you think by signing my ( hey BB, remember to LINK!!!!!!!!) guestbook! And go buy a mouse pad or something. This site isnít free, you know!