I love my dog, Precious. She's a Bichon Friese. The AKC
says about Precious' breed:
This cheerful little dog looks like a gentle puffball, but
is healthy and
sturdy enough for play and exercise. Bichons get along with just about
everyone, including strangers and other animals. They are active, alert,
and curious. They are also highly trainable with gentle handling.
Welcome to Precious' Korner. Precious speaks with a funny accent,
but I have a hard time doing it in words. But trust me, if you could
hear me do her voice, you'd be rolling on the floor. You'd just laugh
your fucking gall badder out of your nose, you'd laugh so hard. I'm
The American Kennel Club continues:
The Bichon Frise is a small, sturdy, white powder puff of a dog whose
merry temperament is evidenced by his plumed tail carried jauntily over
the back and his dark-eyed inquisitive expression. This is a breed that
has no gross or incapacitating exaggerations and therefore there is no
inherent reason for lack of balance or unsound movement. Any
deviation from the ideal described in the standard should be penalized
to the extent of the deviation. Structural faults common to all breeds
are as undesirable in the Bichon Frise as in any other
breed, even though such faults may not be specifically mentioned in
Precious is the coolest dog in the world. She barks and yips just
for me. SHe can count to ten. I don't know what I'd do if something
were to happen to Precious. I can't say that killing would be enough.
One time Precious and I went to the store together and I put PRecious
in this little sweater I had made from this girl scout troop and
Precious was the hit of the entire place. People kept coming up and
the best part was that no one wanted to pet Precious, so I never had to
worry about her getting germs or having someone hurt her soft skin.
Sometimes it gets lonely with it just being me and PRecious all the
time. It's mostly lonely whenever fucking Catherine finally shuts
up. But when I get down like that I just hold Precious on my lap
and wonder what it'd be like if I was born with a dog for a penis.
Then Precious and I have a good laugh.
I LOVE YOU, PRECIOUS!