take a deep breath...

Okay, so here goes.  I'm going to write a journal.  I've always written all my life.  As long as I can remember I've had a love affair with the written word.  I just feel the need to write things down.  When you're as pretty as I am, and when you know that you'd fuck yourself if you could, sometimes you have to write down all of the thoughts in your head as well because everyone needs to hear your words.  Everyone needs to hear my words.  It's the gift I give to all of you.  I cant keep it inside of me anymore.

Sometimes I'm afraid I'll never find love.  Part of the problem is that I don't know love when it's right in front of me.  I have a tendency to be a bit of a loner, just working on my clothes, putting on makeup or talking to the women in my well.  I want to be loved just as much as I want to love.  Don't get me wrong.  I just sometimes wonder if there's anybody out there that really understands me.  I mean, that gets me for me, you know?  And who will love Precious and all of the parts of me.

I really don't know how I should kill Catherine.  YOu know, the current girl that's in my well?  I'm thinking about filling the well with Rum until she drowns.  Then her skin will be even sweeter.  And softer.  She's not eating enough of the chicken nuggets I keep dropping down there.  I even gave her a glass of Ranch dressing.  Stupid bitch just used it to grease the ropes.  I had to throw down sticks of fire until she stopped being bad.  I think it's time to kill her to teach her a lesson, but I don't think she's quite hit the size sixteen I'm looking for but she might be close enough.  It'd be worth it if means I could have some fucking peace in this place.

So, this is my little web slice now.  What do you think of it?  I think it's kinda cool.  I mean, the internet and all.  I can buy lots of things and I don't even have to leave the house.  That's pretty nifty.   It also means Precious gets more spoiled than she should.

Let's see.  This is boring.  What should I write?  I'm having a hard time figuring out what I want my voice to be.  Should I be funny?  Should I talk about my past and the relationship with my father that I'm not settled with?  Should I just gossip about other people in this community I'm starting to learn so much about? 

I think I'll start with a store.  That should get the cash rolling and then I can do this full time.

LEt's see.  Today was pretty boring.  I got up, took a shower, turned the backskins I've had hanging out on the porch, poked Catherine with a stick, listened to some music, had a sandwich, let Precious out for poopy and then came in here, surfed the web a little and now here I am.

Oh, and I'm not so good at HTML yet.  Bare with me, okay?  i'm new!!!


Okay, I should go now.  Here's my first entry.  DO you love it?

Now that you're out of my life
 I'm so much better
 You thought that I'd be weak without you
 But I'm stronger
You thought that I'd be broke without you
 But I'm richer
You thought that I'd be sad without you
I laugh harder
You thought I wouldn't grow without you
 Now I'm wiser
 Thought that I'd be helpless without you
  But I'm smarter
 You thought that I'd be stressed without you
  But I'm chillin'
 You thought I wouldn't sell without you
 Sold 9 million

 I'm a survivor
 I'm not gon' give up
 I'm not gon' stop
  I'm gon' work harder
 I'm a survivor
 I'm gonna make it
 I will survive
 Keep on survivin'

                                           Maybe next entry I'll write some song parodies.