I fall for it every year. This morning, getting up crap-early for a run, I actually turned around and ran back to the house when I heard the Stern replacement show, then I woke stee, to deliver the bad news.

"He's gone, stee. Howard's gone." Like someone had died. "They did it."

And then I stood there, Jessica Simpson singing in my ear. I realized. "Forget it. It's April Fool's Day. Just remembered. Sorry."

I fall for the stupid pranks every year, probably because I've got my eyes on the prize (my birthday's in three days), and forget that the First is filled with people lying.

That's right. I said it. April Fool's Day is for liars.

Happy Liar's Day, Liar.

LA is tough on theatre, that's for sure.

Liz and I are having a hard time finding a place to restage Letters Never Sent. If you're an LA Theatre person who would love to host us for a night or two, please send me or Liz an email. Please! We're funny. And pretty.

We're looking for a cheap space to rent that won't rob us blind. Won't you take pity on us?

[EDITED TO ADD: Problem solved. You guys rock. Get a blog, everybody. It solves all your problems.]

Agnes of Ohmigod: This episode was a sign from God that someone needs to cancel Wonderfalls. Jaye tries to help a nun as Eric tries to beat up a priest as religion takes over the second half of the show.

Allison writes about getting published.

My newest review on Amazon.com:

too boring to read, March 27, 2004
Reviewer: greengirl from Los Angeles, CA United States
i couldn't read this book, it was too boring and the characters were too inane. i love the cover art. i really wanted to like this book.

Five Stars

Awesome. Thanks! Come again!

Looking through today's Activist Mail Bag...

Hello Pamie,

I recently discoved that any US Citizen may vote in a US federal
election regardless of their country of residence, which means that I as
an American living in Canada can vote in the next federal election, and
so can all of your US expatriate readers.

The Federal Voting Assistance Program has the
information any out-of-contry voter needs to get started with.

Keep up the great work, Pamie!

Sharon

For you San Francisco literati-type folks...

On April 1, 826 Valencia is having their big yearly fundraiser. In our usual fashion, we are not charging much for tickets, and thus we need to sell a bunch. We're having a Comedy Night, held in the theater at Everett Middle School in the Mission. We desperately need you to come. There are 1000 seats there and if we wanna make any dent on our yearly budgetary needs, we have to sell most of those seats.

Details:

- The comedians and comedy troupes represented are *amazing*.
- Kaspar Hauser is one of the funniest groups I've ever seen. Last year, while watching them, I could not breathe.
- Patton Oswalt is a comedian/actor who's on every episode of King of Queens and who tours with David Cross. I saw him at Cobb's a few months back (with Cross) and he was astoundingly funny, and also very politically incisive. I personally hunted him down and begged him to come to this benefit.
- Al Madrigal is a great comedian who hosts the event and who kills every time. He's been on all the talk shows and has a sitcom in development. He is a very nice man, too.

There are many other acts, all of them very professional and good, and the show will bustle along quickly. If you've ever wanted to attend one of our events -- or have before and they were too crowded or someone named Andrew tried to assault you -- now is the time to come, or come again, or something. I guarantee a good time. I really do.

Buy tickets online at www.826valencia.org or at 826 Valencia, or the night of the show.

* Key fact: Everett has a HUGE PARKING LOT. You can park inside the school lot, and not have to deal with Mission parking woes.

More details below:

Tickets are $12 - $20 sliding scale
7 PM, Thursday, April 1, Everett Middle School Auditorium
450 Church Street, between 16th and 17th Streets
Parking available in entrance on 17th Street.
More info at www.mcsweeneys.net and www.826valencia.org.

[link via sweet Evany]

This is one of my favorite letters of the week:

Hi Pamie.

I'm probably not going to articulate this well, but here goes anyway.

I can see where the recent blog commentary could be construed as a negative. I imagine that you might be reconsidering that aspect of your website, but I would encourage you to allow the debates to continue.

I think the scariest thing about this country right now (besides weird melting faces) is our apathy. We're standing by letting our civil rights be trampled, seeing our neighbors and friends discriminated against and we're doing nothing. We're letting "them" get away with it.

It's hard to move something from a standing still position.. much easier to redirect an object that already has some momentum. I think your writings and the comments section are generating momentum... maybe some of these folks will take their passion outside the blog and affect a real, positive change.

Your writing is entertaining, true, but I think you have a reoccurring theme of caring-- not just caring, but doing. You lead by example and you inspire me to do more.

I apologize for the disjointed nature of this email. :) So, in summary, Go Pamie. Keep being the person you are and writing about it.

Thank you,
Lara

I'm not positive, but I think Drew was the first Squishy Marriage back, back, back in the day.

Dear Pamie,

I thought you should know that you are being quoted on this page. I guess someone else found your book inspiring. :) Just thought you might like to see.

--Drew--

Just so you know how random my inbox gets:

Hi,

I'm a french fan of the sopranos. With friends, we're trying to create french subtitles for the fifth season. In the first episode, there's one line we don't understand at all. It's the scene between Tony and his nephew in the Badabing office :

Just between "Those guy killed me at Benihanas ! " near 38'44'' and "brandy, cigare, champagne..."

If you could write what tony says, it would help us a lot.

If by chance you know a way to get the transcripts of the episodes of the fifth season, it would be very usefull for us.

Thanks a lot for what you can do.

Marc

And for those of you who have written about the book and I haven't written back: thank you so much for your patience. I'm working on it. And for those of you who came to my show, who took time out to support Liz and me, thank you, too.

Do you think someone told Ryan Seacrest to do that "Seacrest Out!" thing, or was that his own creation? Because I'm thinking it was someone's job to come up with that, and he's having to do it and every time he says it, a piece of his soul dies.

Tomorrow night, please watch my friends Brently Heilbron and Liz Feldman in the very funny Significant Others on Bravo. They play friends of the pregnant woman.