December 9, 2006

ego boost

Why Women Aren't Funny tries to flatter me by calling me smarter, prettier, more magical and gifted and that's why I'm never going to be as funny as a male counterpart. The flattery isn't working. I'd much prefer a man just said the truth: "I don't want you to be funny, because I'd like one goddamn thing I'm better at than you."

And by the way, I'm pretty sure that this:

There are more terrible female comedians than there are terrible male comedians, but there are some impressive ladies out there.

...is a statistically impossible statement. That's like when everybody tells me I get jobs because I'm a girl. You know what they hire in writing rooms? A bunch of guys, and "a girl." A girl. One. "The" girl. And I've got to compete with a hell of a lot of funny and talented women for that part. You've got to be Supergirl. You've got to be so awesome at being a woman that there are days nobody notices you're a woman, or they notice that you're making it so that they don't have to think of you like you're a woman, which makes you even cooler because you're like, so not girly.

I've got to stop now, or I'm going to get too emotional and sound like my sixteen-year old self, writing a manifesto against the school's dress code. "How can a mohawk damage school property? Why are they censoring our right to free expression?!?"

I'll go scoop out my ovaries with a spork and see if that makes me funnier. Wait -- it totally does.

Why? Yep.

The spork.

[link via Bookslut]

Posted by pamie at 12:41 PM