March 3, 2008

ow.

pamie: Hellooooo?
jessica: Hi. Are you okay?
pamie: Yeah. Hi. Are you okay?
jessica: Well, no, but... You sound funny. Are you crying?
pamie: I'm... Okay, I'm eating this curry. And it's seriously the hottest thing I've ever eaten in my life. After every five minutes I have to stop eating it because my face hurts and my lips start to swell and I'm drooling.
jessica: Heeeeeee. You know, you sound really upset. I was worried.
pamie: Because I'm crying. But this curry is so good! I'm not kidding; I put the bowl down and wait until I can feel my face again, and my skin is getting kinda blotchy, but after five minutes I crave it and I've forgotten all about the pain. Then I dig in, shovel four bites into my mouth and then: "Flames! Flames, on the side of my face...heaving!"
jessica: Ha!
pamie: So, I had just waited the five minutes for my next bite, but then I saw you were calling, and I thought it would be a real asshole thing not to answer the phone just because my curry was too hot, and I thought I'd be able to handle it, so I shoveled a bite and then answered the phone, so now my tongue is on fire and I'm drooling.
jessica: Yes, I hear both the drooling and the crying.
pamie: Jessica, I've been eating this curry for the past hour!
jessica: Oh, my God! That is hilarious!
pamie: And these are leftovers.
jessica: What?! Ha! Haaaaaaaaaaaaa.
pamie: I did this exact same thing to myself last night.
jessica: That's ridiculous! Oh, I can't breathe. That is exactly what I needed to hear. Because I have been in such a bad mood, but that is...you...well, you sound crazy.
pamie: My mouth hurts so much. Your turn. What's wrong? What happened?
jessica: Well, I had this bag of chocolate chips I had been saving for myself, to either put in some cookies I'd make, or just eat them all by myself because I'm too lazy to make cookies, and I went to go eat them tonight, but someone had thrown them away, and I was irrationally angry about it and I just stormed out of the house. But like, they were my chips and-- what is that sound? What are you doing?
pamie: [caught] Hmm? Are you talking to me?
jessica: Yes! What are you doing?
pamie: ... I... I was grabbing some chocolate chips out of the pantry.
jessica: OH MY GOD!
pamie: You made them sound really good! And I thought it might cut some of the burn.
jessica: You are...
pamie: Pathetic. I know.
jessica: You're pathetic? I'm the one who's mad about chocolate chips.
pamie: So mad you ran away from home.
jessica: No, I.... yes. I guess I did. I ran away from home.
pamie: I understand.
jessica: Did the chips help?
pamie: Kinda. Maybe because they had peanut butter in them.
jessica: Are you six?
pamie: Shut up. Ow. OWWWWWW!
jessica: Did you just have another bite?
pamie: I can't stop eating this curry of pain!

...

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[Note: warm, fuzzy feeling 100% less warm and fuzzy than Southern Style Curry from Jitlada, but still might make you cry.]

Posted by pamie at 7:21 PM