I lost big time. I got spanked. Spanked.
First of all, I'd like to print Allison's acceptance speech right here, in all its glory:
Allison is the champion, my friends
no time for losers
Oh, people. How did it happen? Believe me, I am as surprised as you are.
When I got the e-mail from Pamie about entering this contest, I knew it was
going to be a test of my strength and talent. If you didn't read all the
trash-talking in the forum, you don't know that I recorded my entry wearing
not much more than my drawers in my tiny bathroom, sitting on the toilet lid
with a bedspread on my head. Not my finest moment, kids, but anything for P.
I would like to thank those of you who voted for me over the hometown
favorite. Especially Eric. And Cal. And Taylor. And Pam's parents. Man,
I don't know why her family hates her so much, but I couldn't go turning
down any votes, yo. Me beating Pamie in her own house is like Maryland
someday beating FSU in Tallahassee, and, if you saw their game last night,
you all know how very, very highly unlikely that is. Incidentally, because
you supported me so mightily, all of you are invited to Dallas when my band
plays next month. I promise, I sound much better without the pillow-soft
padding.
I should also not fail to acknowledge the strong fan base I have in Dallas,
and in the Southeast, that rallied like a bunch of gangsta-asses and brought
home the win. All 10 of those votes really helped. Mother, thanks very
much for the votes you scraped up, personally. Y'all know she hates my
daddy, but she loves the hell out of me. And, just like my boyfriend Justin
Timberlake did in his immortal MTV Video Music Awards acceptance speech, I
would last, but certainly not least, like to thank Jesus. The Big J.C., is
who I'm talkin' about. He was in that bathroom with me. "What Would Jesus
Do?" - you were probably all asking yourselves. He would vote for Allison.
And He did.
