boys on film

righteous dude ferris and power lloyd duke it out
1 September 98

Growing up in the eighties gave young girls two types of men to look for in a future mate. Two films divided what type of girl you were and what type of guy you wanted. Those two films are Ferris Bueller's Day Off and Say Anything...

Those two boys are Ferris Bueller and Lloyd Dobler.

Two cute boys. Two charming boys. Two very different boys. But in looking for a guy, you're either a Mia Sara or a Ione Skye. Who did you want to be?

Ferris Bueller

Ferris was the happy-go-lucky guy who would spend an entire morning getting you out of school by convincing the principal your grandmother died. He'd convince his friend to let him use his father's car because your father would drive a nicer car. He'd get you out of class and take you to the Sears Tower, the museum, a ball game, and serenade you in a parade. (Life moves pretty fast for Ferris, check out this site to see how Ferris can even beat the hands of time.)

Ferris would discuss marriage with you, but you knew he probably wasn't too serious. He was mostly thinking about himself and what he wanted to do. Besides, he's older than you are. Ferris has no future plans. Ferris may not graduate high school if he keeps skipping. Girlies (like Sherilyn Fenn) are always hanging on Ferris, and trying to take your man. He does not stray, but he could if you two were in a particularly nasty fight.

There is never a dull moment with Ferris. He will always accomplish the impossible. He will make you feel like a queen. He takes care of his friends, and he's RICH. Ferris has the cash. His brainless parents probably would throw the stuff at you two if you got married. If Ferris would get married...

Ferris would probably try and pull a few scams on you, too. You'd have to decide if you could really, really trust him.

Ferris would serenade you with "Twist and Shout," or his clarinet version of "I Dream of Jeannie."

Jeannie, Ferris' sister, would hate you every waking moment.
If you got better wedding gifts than she did, she may very well send you a bomb in the mail.

Ferris can get out of any situation. He's fast on his feet. He can make a clean getaway, unless there's a couple of girls in bikinis lying in the yard where he's running.

Ferris will make you less of a stress freak. He will explain to you that all the fuss isn't necessary and when you see how much fun he's having, you'll get pretty convinced.

Ferris moves pretty fast. Buy some condoms.

Lloyd Dobler

Lloyd will love you from afar for quite some time. He will eventually get up enough courage (just by being amazed that you are so incredible) that he will call you and ask your father if he can date you. At first he will appear a bit dorky and rambling, but there's a charm in his logic.

Lloyd Dobler will be a perfect gentleman on your first date. He will tell you you look wonderful and stay up all night with you without expecting you to put out.

Lloyd, unfortunately, is so nice that he will take three hours out of your date to find a drunk guy's house and drop him off after the party.

Lloyd will have girlfriends. Best girlfriends, but there's nothing going on between them, and there will never be anything between them. They will give him advice and support and give you advice and support.

Lloyd is ambitious. He takes care of his body. Kickboxing. The sport of the future. He's a good uncle, helping to keep the fun in his sister and nephew's life. He has stayed where T-I-M has gone. He's into good music, and has a great sense of humor. He likes Bavarian Dutch Style Pretzels, the Red Hot Chili Peppers, and the Clash.

Lloyd will start to hang out with you more and more. He only thinks about you. He wants to spend as much time with you as possible. He will kick shards of glass out of your way when you're walking.

Lloyd will teach you to drive a stick shift. He will visit you at work. He will go to dinner at your family's house. He will stay out of family matters, but still support you through your decisions.

He will shiver and shake when you are intimate, and he will try to blow it off like he's cold. But when he looks you in the eyes, you know it's because of you that he's shaking. He will write you a letter the next day, and will wait a few days later to tell him that he loves you, just as you were about to give him a pen.

He will not give up. He leaves messages on your machine. He talks about you to friends. He tries to bond with other boys, but he knows that's not his style. You're his style. You make him a better person, and he makes you a better person. If only you weren't so selfish. So stupid and selfish none of this would have ever happened. Dammit, Diane! He gave you his heart and you gave him a pen! You stupid bitch! Don't you care about his feelings? So your daddy's going to the pokey, this is true love we're talking about here!

Lloyd will serenade you with a perfect Peter Gabriel song that was playing the first night you made love. Lloyd pays attention to detail. Lloyd would never embarrass you. He would never make you feel bad about yourself. He will patiently wait for you to come back, and he won't even blame you when you make him get punched in the head.

Lloyd's flaws come from the fact that he needs you so badly he doesn't take care of himself. He doesn't care if you came back because you needed someone rather than you needed him. He needs to believe in himself more. After all, he's Lloyd Dobler.

Lloyd will visit your dad in prison when you won't. He'll try and explain what's happening. He'll drop everything and go to Europe with you. Lloyd loves you for your talent and your heart above everything else.

Ferris and Lloyd are two different types of boyfriends. Do you want the rebel or the romantic? Do you want to chase or be chased? Do you want your parents to approve or disapprove? Well, in this case, I think that Sloane's parents approved more than Diane's, but that's another story.

I am happy to say that I've found my Lloyd Dobler that I've been searching for all these years. I'm beaming about him today, because he's coming back into town. I have a sensitive, romantic guy who kicks the glass out of my way, teaches me a stick shift (on his own car), and likes to talk late at night. He doesn't want to buy anything. sell anything, or process anything, or buy anything sold or processed or sell anything bought or processed or... you get the idea. He's in love with my mind and my heart. He's charming, funny, and attractive. He's got close girlfriends who think he's the best, but wouldn't date him. He is always looking out for me. "He checks up on me" at parties. He trembles.

He likes the Clash.

I hope you are as lucky at finding your Lloyd or Ferris. Maybe you want someone else. Maybe you're looking for a Jake Ryan, a Ducky, or a Sid.

Whatever you're looking for, keep true to your heart. And for all you guys out there looking for a girl, pleasefollow Lili Taylor's advice: